Its that time again. When the year comes to a close, a new one is just on the horizon, and the events that have transpired are put into perspective and are posed for reflection.

I’ve been doing much reflection lately. I really had no choice in the sense that if I wanted to move forward with my life, reclaim my positive outlook, and fully submerge myself in learning from the consequences of my choices, picking myself up and dusting off my shoulders was the only way to go.

Even though many life altering events happened this year, and are continuing to do so, I like to challenge myself to see the silver lining.

I will reiterate that finding the silver lining in every situation is quite the challenge. I have to be open to see and learn from it.

Also, my spark and light are being tested. Flickering in and out with each relentless gust.

Did I pass those tests? I’m gonna be hard on myself and say I came close. I can do better.

I’ve been putting too much stock in negativity when I have so much to be thankful for. And many more things to focus on in general that are fantastic and wonderful that deserve my full attention.

The darkness that creeps into my heart when I’m pushed to my limits and when I’m exhausted, is difficult to fight off.

One droplet of this darkness is potent enough to manifest into something formidable.

But I refuse to feel sorry for myself. And I refuse to give in.

I’m fighting like the Dickens to not be consumed by it.

No matter how bad things get, they can always be worse right? That’s probably one of the most annoying phrases people say, but there are elements of truth in them.

Just because things could be worse doesn’t mean the pain I feel isn’t valid. That I need to move on with my grief, not that I ever really will, because other people have lost more than I have.

The point is to learn how to handle whatever life throws at me with grace and wisdom. Keeping in mind to appreciate what I still have.

I am incredibly thankful for my life, my loved ones, and the priveledges I was born with.

And that’s how I will guide my attention through this life.

Join me on my path back to hope~

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