Its strange how when I let go of negative thoughts, terrible attitudes, and even worse habits, that life starts sending me opportunities.
I have to take some credit though, things don’t always happen by chance alone or by “good vibes.” I have to put effort and drive into what I want.
And being a “good person” isn’t enough either and won’t magically take me places.
With that said, being kind and putting my all into everything I do is definitely a good place to start and pushes me into the right direction. The rest I just figure out as I go.
I still experience deep sadness that wants to suck me into the unknown recesses of a black hole. Where my light is the first thing to go and the pain is stretched out into eternity.
But I have been trying my damndest not to let that sadness affect the people around me.
To counter act it with therapy, exercise, nutritious food, and most importantly love from family and friends.
Time does heal, and has healed me. But time also brings anniversaries.
The anniversary of my pregnancy, the anniversary of discovering two bundles in my belly, and many more yet to come.
My mind is having trouble comprehending that its been a year since we found out that we were having conjoined twins at my 20 week anatomy scan.
So much has happened in that years worth of time that in actuality could fit into a lifetime.
The human spirit is resilient. My spirit is so powerful and has gained so much strength and tenacity that it would take something mighty to knock me down.
And even then, you could not keep me down.
That’s always been my personality. Swimming up stream when everyone else is going down.
Sails are at the ready for more rough seas ahead though. My anxiety has reared its ugly head and keeping it at bay has been very difficult.
It’s just change, again, making me nervous. I’ve had to adapt to so many changes in the last year alone. Why is this any different?
Because I’ve been dealing with my emotions instead of bottling them up. Facing my nerves head on.
Great things are coming into my life, and sometimes I have to accept that change is just always going to be a constant, and the new me can handle it.
Join me on my path to hope~