The question I keep asking myself is:
how can I start a blog about positivity and healing when I feel scatter brained and nonsensical most of the time?
Well, its incredibly liberating to express my thoughts and fears. It forces me to reflect on where I have taken my life so far, and more pressingly my recent trauma.
I’m also trying to be more honest with myself and not internalize my emotions, which has been my go-to defense for 30+ years.
And I think it will be refreshing for some people to read about my vulnerability, flaws, and darkest moments, when sometimes we expect others, and ourselves, to be perfect.
So. Here we go.
What happened to me just five short weeks ago really broke me. No one expects me to be “over it” or “moved on,” not that I ever will be. But I’m struggling to gather and put back together all of the pieces of who I was and who I am now. Because those are two very different people.
This blog essentially is inspired by my first blog, which details the traumatic events of my second pregnancy. Its called 2souls1heart.net
Having to go through any type of traumatic event changes you. Your life is literally marked by that moment, and nothing seems to matter before or is the same after.
My life is now marked by my conjoined twin girls being born, and dying, on the same day.
So what do I do now? That’s a very big, multifaceted question. I can’t change what happened nor would I want to. I am incredibly grateful for my girls. But I do need to learn how to live with my new reality, not only for my family, but also for myself.
Join me on my path back to hope~